Sunday, May 29, 2011

Inchstones instead of Milestones

This week I had dinner with a wonderful group of moms, all of whom have boys considered “low performing” – ranging from six to nine years old.  Our dinner was a blast – the Martinis really helped!- and we really had a chance to compare notes and vent over our children’s behaviors, and there were all sorts:  one boy has become very violent, two take prescription medications for their behavior, three don’t really watch TV but run around stimming, three have played with their poop and spread it (not Dante, thank God), none play purposely with their toys, none speak well, etc.  Dante is the only one with huge digestive issues, on a restricted diet (GFCF and vegetarian at this point), and who headbangs.  On the other hand, Dante is also the only one who loves hugs and is able to sit and enjoy the TV.  Understanding the common autistic symptoms helps me notice whether or not Dante is moving away from them, and I believe he is.

As we complete the vaccine clearings, I have definitely noticed lots of small positive changes in Dante. Most parents probably agree that if their kids have a lot of issues, sometimes small changes are just not noticed – because there are so many other issues left!  However, small changes count. 

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)
Here are some small – but huge – changes that I have noticed lately:
  • His eye contact is better.
  • He is using more short sentences here and there, always appropriately.
  • He responds immediately when called!
  • He is better able to enjoy his playroom by himself for longer periods of time.
  • He is more connected to his likes and constantly requests (using PECs) to play, to go to the playground, to the pony, or to the pool.
  • He is sleeping very well and is not waking up during the night.  This would happen when he was detoxing, but it hasn’t happened in a long time.
  • Dante is enjoying sitting on the couch to watch TV instead of just running around when his shows are on.  He pays more attention to them and really enjoys his favorite songs.  He comes to get us when his favorite songs come on so that we will enjoy them with him.  Joint attention is a huge deficit in autistic kids.
  • He’s hardly drooling!!!  This has been a huge issue for years. 
  • He’s not peeing that much at night, so he doesn’t require this gigantic diaper infrastructure to keep him dry!
  • His BMs are now perfect pretty much constantly!  The vegetarian diet really did the trick here.
  • Dante is seldom crashing into me or headbanging me on the back.
  • His headbanging has decreased substantially and is pretty consistent from day to day, unless something is wrong. 
  • In general, Dante’s tolerance has increased and become more consistent.  Parents of ASD kids know how critical this is.  This is HUGE.
What more can I say?  It’s a good day to look back and review how far along we’ve come.  There is still a lot of work to be done.  However, if Dante is happier and more comfortable, the road ahead will be easier for us.  The hope from his homeopath was that Dante would cause less “wear and tear” on us – and let me just say that both my husband and I have been worn out and torn apart by Dante’s issues.  Each little improvement counts in healing our family and building a better future for us.  I pray that each family with a special child finds their road to healing and joy.
Dante listens to abuela Luz play the tambourine

1 comment:

Lucy alonso said...

How wonderful and what a blessing this is :) I super happy to see how much Dante is improving. All your hard work is paying off my friend, god is granting you your so awaited for wish, a miracle right before your eyes.

It's always good to go back and reevaluate where we are and where we came from. It's easy to forget d
To do this, I'm guilty of it myself. But then it hits me, "Lucy just remember where we were this time last year, and look at Alex today, unbelievable :)" And seconds after I wanted to complain, I sit there are look at Alex, Julie, my surroundings and realize how blessed we are. God is granting our wish my dear, our kids are Helsingborg right bgife our eyes!